_lemeurtre_ (_lemeurtre_) wrote in love_sex_dating,

boyfriend's loss of interest in sex??

on Saturday, my boyfriend of 1 1/2 years, who I live with, told me he "lost interest in having sex a long time ago."

This comment stemmed from a petty argument we had, caused by me being insecure and nitpicking a very insignificant issue, but I basically called him on the fact that we have been having sex very rarely for several months and told him that it was worsening my insecurities and anxiety.

I am still very much physically attracted to him and he says he is still physically attracted to me. I asked him several prompting questions, such as if he has the desire to sleep with other people or if he's been feeling despressed in general, or if there was something new he'd like to try sexually, but he just kept responding "I don't know."

The only explanation that he did offer was that he felt like there was no "romance" and that he feels like there are never moments where we just spontaneously have sex, it's all somewhat scheduled. I can see what's he's talking about here, we have a roommate and opposite schedules we do generally only have sex in our bed, usually around bedtime.

He said that he didn't want our relationship to end, and that everything else between us generally works pretty well, which I agree with.

When I say we've been having sex rarely, I mean 1-2 times per month, usually initiated by me, for the past 3-4 months. I haven't lost or gained weight or drastically changed my appearance in any way since we started dating, so it's not a physical attraction issue.

I know I do have some issues with anxiety and insecurity that have caused some petty arguments in the past, could this have driven him away?

Any advice about what I can do to re-ignite his interest, or just about whether this relationship is a lost cause or not, would be appreciated.
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